Ergueta Goes Into Fracking


Kyle Nisbet, Staff Writer

Mr. Ergueta known as the legendary history teacher sticks up for the environment and does the right thing here at Wilmington Friends School. After April 1st tho he will now be known as “senior vice president of fracking” at Exxon ( the oil energy conglomerate). Many people are confused why the previous sponsor of the Fridays for Future club, whose goal is to help save the earth from climate change ended up joining the very thing he swore to destroy.
When we tried to request a comment from Mr. Ergueta all we heard in return was the VROOM VROOM of his new Ferrari that he purchased with his new signing bonus. It’s safe to say it’s not an electric or hybrid vehicle. For his new title, he will be searching for untapped areas that can still be fracked, and Exxon will be using the carbon emissions calculator that he designs with Fridays For Future to measure how many fossil fuels he helps them to exploit! Accordion to a related Exxon announcement, each iceberg that melts equates to a 10 million dollar bonus for Mr. Ergueta. We here at the Whittier would like to wish him the best of luck in his new position, despite the outrageous consequences.