A Family of Bats has Been Discovered in the WFS Attic!


Jamie Feldman, Staff Writer

BREAKING NEWS: A family of bats have been found living in the WFS attic! The bats had first been spotted by local boy, Devin Wallace. “I was going up to the attic so that I could get a birds eye view of humans and not be snuck up on, but the exact opposite thing happened and a bat flew over my head and threw me out the window and I fell out the window,” said Devin. This has created a large safety and health violation for the school, but when they tried to exterminate the bats, chaos ensued. It has seemed that the bats have mobilized in an attempt to protect their new home. The exterminators fought hard, but the bats were simply too clever, having created an advanced technological security border around the attic. Upon reported observation, the family of bats seem to consist of: a previously divorced male bat and his three sons, along with a widowed female bat and her three daughters. Both the male and female bat had met each other while scouring the forest searching for fruit, and fell in love, thus joining their two families into one. This modern bat family then decided to find a place to settle down together, which is when they discovered the WFS attic and made it their new home. The bat family has become popular with the students, earning the nickname of the Battie Bunch. Still, there are some who are not in favor of this interesting group. The school board has insisted that we must evict the Battie Bunch from their home in a week’s time, or else they will tent and shut down the school! Will we stand for this injustice? And what does the future hold for the Battie Bunch? Only time will tell!