In an unexpected yet well awaited
move: parking spots will now be determined by
none other than the senior class. Yes, you read
that right.
The newly established parking hierar-
chy comes straight from the top-secret meet-
ing between the senior class representatives,
Steven Kozikwoski ‘25 and Andrew Forman
‘25, along with J.R Neiswender, head of upper
school, and Ildiko Miller, dean of upper school.
After a highly intense discussion, a consensus
was reached that the seniors, now in their final
stretch of senior year, will have exclusive access
to the first-row parking spots. The reasoning?
Kozikowski ‘25 stated, “Seniors are leaving
soon, and they have rightfully earned those
front row spots.” Forman ‘25 added, “It’s time
for this rule to be enforced. Enough said.”
The newly licensed juniors, eager to
show off their driving skills, will have to wait
their turn. Sources say that this decision was
partly fueled by the juniors taking up most of
the first-row parking spots, causing the seniors
to have to park on the side of the road, which
is dangerous and causes seniors to be late for
their classes. The new parking system will be
set into effect on April 2, 2025, and will likely
create a more significant sense of community
within the senior class in their shared rows of
cars in the front. A schedule based on alpha-
betical order of last names
for senior parking spots
will be posted in the up-
coming days, ensuring that
every senior gets a place
worthy of their title. Lilly
Zawadzkas ‘25 was not too
pleased with this condition,
as Zawadzaks takes pride in
her last name, but unfor-
tunately, she is last in line.
“It’s not fair, the Z’s should
be represented, we are
unique, and there should
be some respect in our letter.” The senior
class reps carefully considered Zawadzkas and
decided to break the long-lasting stereotype of
Z’s and make Z’s first in line, from Z all the way
to A.
Seniors—enjoy the front row while it
lasts. Juniors–stay in your lane; your time will
come! It’s common knowledge amongst facul-
ty that next year’s parking will be determined
through competitions, including dodgeball and
trivia. Stay tuned for more updates.
